Zodiac Money Roast

Ever wonder how your zodiac sign influences your relationship with money? In this episode, Lauren dives into the hilarious (but eerily accurate) money tendencies of each zodiac sign – roasting them with love while offering practical guidance on how to work with these cosmic money patterns instead of against them.

In this episode...

💰 Why understanding your astrological money patterns can transform your financial reality 

🖤 The shadowy money tendencies each zodiac sign tends to fall into (prepare to feel seen!) 

🌟 Powerful reframes to turn your cosmic money challenges into business superpowers 

🪄 Practical guidance tailored to each sign's unique relationship with abundance 

💫 Why creating systems aligned with your cosmic design leads to sustainable wealth 

🚀 How to play the money game in a way that feels like you were made to win it

Whether you're a structure-resistant Aries, a luxury-loving Taurus, or a spreadsheet-obsessed Virgo, this episode offers both cosmic wisdom and practical tools to help you transform your relationship with money. Lauren reminds us that while our zodiac tendencies might point to uncomfortable truths, they also reveal the path to authentic abundance when we learn to work with our cosmic design rather than against it.

Check out the Instagram post this episode was based on here.

🎙️ Brought to you by Lauren Poppins Raye

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Connect with Lauren on Instagram: @laurenpoppinsraye

Transcript

0:58

Today's episode is based on a carousel post that I created and published last week Where I started out by asking the unhinged version of ChatGPT AKA Monday, a GPT that I think has gone viral. People are all about it. Oh my goodness, if you have not tried, this guy is hilarious. And together we came up with a zodiac roast spread, where we went through each sign of the zodiac and roasted their relationship with money and this turned out so good. So funny. It was such a hit and I am basing this episode on to go deeper into, because while this definitely comes from the space of, it's funny'cause it's true to some extent. I wanna go deeper into each of these and talk about what's really behind the satire, the joke. Of each and offer some wisdom, some guidance, some practical, helpful astrological perspective around each of these so that we're not just poking fun at each of them, we're also understanding them through the context of how their potential shortcomings are Also superpowers and then also how to mitigate the shadowy side of it and to basically balance it out with some practical guidance that will illuminate how each of these signs can actually become rock stars with money can actually be really good with their money. So yes, these point to some potentially uncomfortable truths that you might resonate with, but my purpose here is to help you learn to work with them Instead of spiraling in shame around the less than ideal tendencies that we're gonna point to if you didn't see the post last week. You can get the link in my show notes to follow along, or if you're watching me right now, I'll be putting them up on the screen as I name each one, so you can follow along here. But look, before we dive in, I want to give the disclaimer that if these don't super resonate with you based on your sun sign or otherwise, know that one, you are so much more than your sun sign. If one of the other ones hits closer to home, it's probably could because you have another prominent planet or point in your chart that is located there. Not only that, but as an abundance astrologer, when I look at somebody's chart to illuminate their relationship with money, both where they've been, where they are, where they could be. The sun sign is not what I focus on. There are certain areas of the chart that are much more suited to understand your relationship with money, and not only that, understanding each of them in a vacuum isn't really all that helpful either. It's really through the synthesis of an understanding that is greater than the sum of the parts that gets closer to the true. Picture or reflection of what's really going on for you and your money. And with that disclaimer, let's dive in. First up, Aries, your money strategy is basically make it, spend it regret nothing. You manifest abundance by launching things with zero budget and buying new software subscriptions. During Mercury retrograde, you don't track expenses because you believe in trusting the flow and that flow is lava. Also, your accountant quit last week. Again this one comes from the Aries tendency to be impulsive, to dive without much thought. Wherever they feel called or inspired to, whenever and however often they feel the impulse to and an avoidance of structure, basically, because they wanna be able to just go when they feel like it, and they don't want anything that is putting them in a box, limiting them or holding them back. But here's the thing about Aries is what you really want is to be able to dive into what excites you. The creative wave that opens up for you and invites you to jump on it, right? You don't wanna get bogged down with the things that are included in structure. So you avoid it to your detriment, but when you actually have systems, structures, SOPs in place, you get to spend less of your attention presence and mental energy. On those things so that you can free yourself to focus on what you really want to. So for you, systems and structures are so valuable when it comes to your money game so that you know that stuff is handled and flowing. It takes as little as possible for you to actually show up and you free up your time and bandwidth to be able to focus on what you're really stoked on like creating that next inspired, excited thing. Next up Taurus, you act broke while sitting on a pile of untouched savings. Like a dragon who's too tired to invest you love money almost as much as you love slow mornings and luxury candles. Your strategy is slow and steady, which means you refuse to pay for anything unless it's aesthetic, ethical, and hand delivered by forest nymphs Your record keeping is immaculate but also scented. This comes from the part of Taurus that is often stubborn resistant to change. And when it comes to money, is more likely to want to spend on comfort-related things and to splurge on things that others might consider lavish. To this, I say that if you are not where you know you want to and could be around your relationship with your money flow. First of all, you are missing the point of what is going to truly make you feel settled. Financial security is such medicine for Taurus people, so if there's resistance to learning the new thing and implementing the change that's gonna get you to that more solid and secure foundation around your money, know that it is absolutely worth embracing the equal but opposite side of Scorpio, of embracing that transformation to get to that point because what that's gonna make possible for you is truly feeling settled and relaxed in your nervous system. And not only that, but having a money flow, practice and reality in place where you can actually have more marginal income, more available for that lavish and comfort-based spending. So you feel more of how you want to feel and you get to have more of what you want. Next up Gemini, your money is wherever your attention span. Last was one week, you're on a budgeting app. The next you're trading crypto and selling vintage sunglasses on Depop, you have five bank accounts, zero budgets, and 17 passive income dreams you haven't monetized yet because you were too busy making memes about it. You could be rich, but you'd get bored halfway through invoicing. This comes from Gemini's tendency to be all over the place, to jump from one thing to the next really quickly, not to stick with anything long enough to make a big impact, difference, or income in this case generally being scattered and ungrounded to you, I say that structures don't have to be rigid. Having systems in place that work for you and were designed for how you are means that they leave a lot of room for moving parts to change your mind, to replace variables and pieces and parts, but that there's this underlying foundational structure like scaffolding so that you can grow and weave and meander to your heart's content. You are a great example of why half of my signature program cosmic currency, is looking at your unique cosmic currency codes to develop structures and systems around your money flow. that Were designed for you because most forms of structure are not gonna work for a Gemini. It needs to feel like structured or organized chaos, or you're not gonna touch it with a 10 ft pole, but fortunately, that is possible. Ultimately supportive of you continuing to bring in revenue even when you bounce dance, and dart around from one shiny, exciting thing to the next to keep your curiosity satiated. Next up Cancer. You treat money like a relationship with a moody ex. You want it to love you, but you also don't wanna talk about it directly. You undercharge. So no one's feelings get hurt, then feel resentful. When you're living on emotional granola, your spreadsheets are covered in tears and your money mantra is something like, I deserve prosperity, but only if everyone else has it first. This comes from cancer's tendency to be led by their emotions, to underprice their offers because of people-pleasing and being afraid that they're going to offend or turn off somebody else. And the shame spirals that come from that because they don't end up making the money they need to afford even their current responsibilities, let alone grow their business to meet those deeper, more sensitive inner world needs that they so desperately want to be able to meet by the means of their business. To cancers, I say, and remind that, first of all while there is a part of you that doesn't want to do anyone wrong by charging more than they can afford, you're actually missing an opportunity to truly show up for the people that you're serving in the way that they need, and that is that when you actually price your offers higher at an amount that is a bit more of a stretch for people, and that incidentally also, brings in what you actually need, makes you feel better. We'll get to that. But as far as the other people, because I know you think so much about them, is they are actually gonna get more out of what you're offering. If the price point is a little bit of a stretch, if they've invested a significant amount of money into it, because the alternative is that it was either super lowballed or free so they could kind of take or leave their investment in it. Right? Their investment in it meets their investment of it. And so the more that they've put into it, the more that they're like, oh, I'm gonna get my money's worth. I'm gonna show up for this because I paid a lot for it, and it makes a world of difference in terms of how much they're actually able to get out of it. Secondly, remember that the ultimate act of self-care when it comes to money, and I know you're all about self-care. Is your financial security. Security in general is what's gonna make you feel most at home. And when it comes to your business, getting to a space of financial security is gonna be everything for you and is gonna make the difference for the containers and spaces that you create for other people to actually feel chill and inviting. So what I suggest for you is to get out of your heart a little bit in terms of feeling into your sense of worth or what other people are gonna think or whatever emotionally framed orientation you have toward pricing your offers, and allow yourself to bring some awareness. To a big part of what we do in cosmic currency, which is get super aware how much you actually need to make to cover your current expenses because that is exactly what your nervous system needs you to make, to be able to chill out. And then what is that next level amount that you wanna stretch to that's gonna bring in? And here's where you get to bring your feels back in, in a much more. helpful and aligned way feel into what it's gonna feel like to have that new reality when that new timeline is brought to you when you manifest that new timeline. Next up we have Leo. You'll drop six grand on a Mastermind because the landing page had gold accents. Your money Strategy is visibility equals value. So as long as you look rich online, you believe abundance is on its way. Spoiler. It's not. You're flashy, proud, and allergic to being audited. Receipts, you mean applause. You spend like a Kardashian and budget like a raccoon with a target gift card. This comes from Leo's tendency to be hungry for visibility, to be much more invested in and focused on how they're being perceived and their forward kind of outward facing expression on their social making all of that more important than the inner game, the foundations that you need to build and the boring side of building a business because the shinier stuff is so much more interesting. But But here's the thing. If you actually focus on creating the foundation that your business needs to be sustainable and focusing on building the body of work that you're gonna be known for and able to present to the world through your forward-facing marketing, you're actually gonna create a way bigger following and ultimately have way more eyes on what you're putting out there. So to you, I suggest to consider the long game and the long-term benefits of putting a little less focus on content creation. That is not gonna have nearly the ROI if you don't put just as much attention into what you're building, what you're selling, the foundation that you're establishing to be able to go the distance with your business. Next up Virgo, you have a color coded profit and loss tracker and a backup file just in case you know your monthly recurring revenue down to the cent. And judge everyone who doesn't. You save aggressively, invest responsibly, and occasionally buy an Oracle deck just to feel something. You are the financial spreadsheet everyone else is too emotionally unstable to open. This comes from Virgo's tendency to be a perfectionist, to get lost in the details, to over plan and otherwise have a relationship with money that takes a different twist to what we've been talking about so far. because so far with the first five signs of the Zodiac, we've been talking about tendencies to avoid structures and systems. Virgo embraces them to a fault. And this brings up another thing that's interesting to know about you and your relationship with money, but more about the season that you're in right now and not like ingrained at birth aspects of your design, and that is your cosmic money style. It is based on the four attachment styles. If you're familiar with those disorganized, anxious, avoidant and secure. And a Virgo is much more likely with their money to be the anxious type over vigilant way too controlling around gripping the thing. And to you, I want to remind you, coming from it takes one to no one. I'm a Virgo moon and it runs through my blood. But the reminder here is that when it comes to right relationship of channeling abundance through the intentional vessel of a business there are certain roles that are yours to play and some that are not. It is absolutely your role to be aware of your income and expenses and what's going on with your money, but I do not suggest looking at it every single day. I suggest having some kind of a rhythmic pulse currency check-in, which is the culmination of cosmic currency. Once we go through all the different things that you need to be looking at and engaging and what it means to do it your way based on your astrology codes, we bring it all together into a regular currency check-in, and it's really valuable, efficient, and effective to do this on more of a weekly or a monthly basis. Not to be obsessively checking it all the time. It is also your role to envision and see very practically and specifically different ways that you could bring in the income, the revenue, to match the expenses that you have and aim for at your next level but then from there you have to, and I know fewer expressions that say this better, let go and let God. Right? The opposite of Virgo is Pisces and such a big part of how abundance flows is that ultimately you are, this or something better, letting go of any kind of control or forcing around how you think it should happen and leaving room to get your mind blown a little when it comes to the how. So this is my reminder to you dear Virgos, that you would probably do good to loosen your grip a little bit, lean out a little bit more, and create, again, intentional rhythmic ways that you show up so that you are able to create a little bit more spaciousness in the equation. Next up Libra money. Ugh, gross. You'd rather flirt with abundance than talk with a bookkeeper. You impulse-buy aesthetics. Hello branded rituals kit, and then feel deeply betrayed when your rent is due. You believe in balance, which is why you've spent three months trying to decide between QuickBooks and just journaling about money blocks. Your entire budget is mood board based. This comes from Libra's tendency to be a little bit indecisive, a little bit of a people pleaser and a little bit allergic to going to the depths of things. You're comfier on the surface where things feel peaceful and like cancer often struggle with how to price your offers because you don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, right? You want to be accessible and available to everyone. You don't wanna have to turn anyone away. Often a lot of what is tied up in that decision for you or that indecision is trying to equate value to your sense of worth trying to decide on a dollar price point relative to something that has nothing to do with being quantifiable. Firstly, I wanna remind you, if we're talking about your worth and trying to put an amount on it, you are worth way more than anybody could ever afford. So that's facts, but secondly, that's just missing the point altogether. It is a losing battle and it's a trap to try and position your sense of self-worth anywhere near what you're charging people for your offers and your services. That's because a smart money flow actually looks at what you need to make to bring in. I talked about before, to meet the expenses that you're responsible for now, and the ones that you're calling in to actualize your next level lifestyle. This is the balancing act that you wanna be tuning into not does your worth equate to what you're charging, but rather the scale of does your revenue meet your expenses, and are those balanced? Then from that place, the price point becomes a third dial that you are able to move to make those numbers match up. Let it be way simpler than you've got going on in your head that keeps you from making clear decisions and especially around the price points that are going to bring in the amount that you actually need. Next up, Scorpio. You treat your finances like state secrets. Nobody knows how much you make, but they feel that you're powerful. Your money is in a vault, probably in a crypto wallet with 4FA is that even a thing? You invest in mysterious things like transformational wealth frequencies. Your record-keeping is impeccable and encrypted, but no one will ever see it, including your accountant. Honestly, if y'all relate to this, that's awesome. I have a lot of Scorpio in me, and the secrecy side of it has never really resonated with me personally, but the mysterious side absolutely does. And when it comes to your money, we want your relationship with it to be as practical, clear and grounded as possible. Not exactly Scorpio tendencies. Scorpio has a tendency to be a little bit obsessive, potentially a little bit of a control freak, and ultimately has a deep fear of loss that motivates it. And to you, I point out that when it comes to a strategy with your money, that's actually gonna make long-term wealth possible where your money works for you. You need to move through the trust issues or whatever else comes up for you that feels edgy to be able to embrace working with other people, other institutions, other opportunities that you don't have full control over because those are the kinds of things that are gonna bring you an exponential ROI. Firstly, might I remind you that that's actually the shit you love, right? Getting to do the shadow work as part of your journey as an entrepreneur. So much of it is gonna lie here for you but also I wanna encourage you to broaden your frame of what investing is, because we're not just talking about money, we're also talking about the ways that you invest your time, your energy, and your non-money resources now as a form of sacrifice to be able to call in a future that is going to give you more and give back, and this is truly how you set your money game up so that you don't have to constantly be in that fear of loss, where the darkness of that fear is looming below the surface and animating you to some extent essentially. So baby steps as you feel comfortable, but willingness to give up more control and embrace the other side of collaborating with other people, other institutions, other opportunities, other ways to make your money make a bigger impact. Next up is Sagittarius. You think budgeting is a capitalist conspiracy? You spend freely in the name of expansion and then suddenly, remember, taxes are a thing. You'll drop thousands on courses, flights, and kombucha retreats, and then say things like, I don't believe in limits. You haven't seen your financial dashboard since 2022. You have a PayPal account somewhere, maybe. This comes from Sagittarius tendency to value and prioritize freedom above all else doing what they feel like spontaneously and often falling prey to some bypassing through their blinded optimism. To you, I point out that if you really want to have the additional income, the marginal flow to be able to jump on a plane whenever you feel like. And to be able to spend on the bigger, more expensive things that you dream of and envision. If you wanna be able to get to those places where you have the kind of money to make those big lifestyles possible you gotta get your money stuff in order. Just like I mentioned with Aries and Gemini, when you do take the time to get the necessary systems in place, they actually support you to be able to do those things that you really would rather be doing and not only that, but when your money game is strong, you often have more time available to go do those things as well. Next up, Capricorn, you are a financial system. Your spreadsheets have spreadsheets. You wrote a business plan for your childhood. Money is your love language and also your coping mechanism. You have a quarterly review with your inner child and a retirement fund for your LLC People ask you for money advice. You pretend to be humble about it, but you are the IRS now. This comes from Capricorn's, often workaholic super hustle tendency. That borderlines on addiction, identifying as their business and having difficulty having separation with it, and having a pretty deeply ingrained fear of failure, which is what motivates them to just keep hustling and working more and more and more. To you, I point out that what is the point of doing all of that if you are not generating the profits and extra flow to be able to spend on things that bring you more quality of life. Remember what truly vitalizes systems of generating abundance is being connected to the feelings around the visions that you have for the lifestyle that you want. That component is crucial, so don't get caught up in the means and forget what the end or the point is of why you are creating this business machine. So while you may take to the systems and structures that I support clients with super easily, I bet you could benefit from that other side, the more magical half of the equation that makes it about money flow and not just money. Next up Aquarius. So near and dear to my heart with Sun, mercury, and Jupiter there you manage your money like a post-capitalist experiment. You believe in radical generosity, but also have a stock portfolio you built with ChatGPT prompts and divine timing. You use Airtable Notion and a Google Doc you share with the moon you hate traditional finance, but will sell a$222 workshop called quantum budgeting for visionaries. You're rich in ideas, broke in execution. I know this too well. If it weren't for my Virgo Moon balancing this act, I would just be all ideas and never actually ground anything into anything tangible, because I've got ideas for days. And the thing about Aquarius people is when it comes to money, they want to play the game because they love the experiment and the opportunity to make money doing what they love, being who they are, authentic abundance, but they have such an allergy to the system, the government, and even thinking about participating in it in a traditional way that their avoidance of the thing often keeps them from making the money that they need to really be able to focus on their passion work and make a bigger difference. Which is what they truly want. So my reminder to you is that you are not a sellout to play the game, and in fact. You would do well to learn the rules of the game so that you can loophole and break them in your own way. You were meant to do big things. You came here at this time to offer the world something that nobody else can. And if you're crouched below a concrete ceiling, limiting the possibilities for you and your business, you are not doing anyone a service, much less yourself because if you really wanna get better at playing the game, you need to play it in the terms of the board that we're playing on, which is this time, this world And so embracing compliance is gonna be the ultimate catalyst for you to feel free to go all in with what truly makes you feel alive, aligned, and on purpose. Lastly, Pisces, you and money are in a karmic relationship. You avoid looking at your accounts because numbers stress your aura. You prefer to feel into financial decisions and then wonder why you overdrew your account after buying a crystal grid and four abundance workshops. Your receipts are just vibes. Your CPA is a Sagittarius or an Aquarius like I was, who also believes in magic. So it works out. To my Pisces people, I want to first piggyback on what I was just talking about for Aquarius. You have a bigger purpose for doing what you do, and you're not gonna be able to realize the true impact that you are meant to make if you don't allow your business to scale and succeed such that it will support you to reach more people, to be able to focus more on the service that you're designed to give and essentially to get closer and closer to creating your life and business in alignment with the vision that you have for it. If you're avoiding the structures and systems that make flow possible and sustainable. But again, like what I said with Gemini, who seems so far from a genuine alignment with structure, Pisces too needs it so much. It is a missing piece for you that once implemented frees and liberates you to be able to flow as you feel. Not only that, but when you embrace the systems and structures around money that I teach, you also lean into this crucial half of the equation that is absolutely your jam and up your alley, which is constantly visualizing to aim your next mark of your next level of what you're bringing in the next wave of revenue to be able to invest in and make possible. That brings us to the end of the Zodiac. I hope that something in here made you giggle, struck a chord, and that there's some takeaways for you around how to really leverage the signs that we're working with to have the most optimal relationship with money inside of our businesses as vessels of channeling and growing abundance in ways that are really so much more than just money. As a business owner, you're playing to win and when you design yours in such a way that it's aligned with the rules of the game we're playing in a way that's aligned with your unique design and the rules of the game we're playing in as above, so below. Not only do you start winning, it ends up feeling like a game you were made to win. If you'd like support around this, that's my jam. Just reach out and let's see what's possible.